Thursday, 21 June 2012

To all forum administrators

Seems that smart and intelligent administrators of various online forums are losing their share of grey cells pretty fast and because of them normal users are suffering. Following is the lists of suggestions as I gathered in one place after talking to many banned or 'about to be banned' members.....

  • Just that your forum started earning you few bucks and now you can proudly tell your friends who have been well settled 5-6 years before you, much to your parent's disappointment, that you finally started earning something, doesn't means that you're going to be next Mark Zuckerberg and respect will come naturally flying to you or you just acquired  5% share of whole Internet and by no means it grants you any right to be prejudiced. Humility is the key..
  • Just that somebody spits in your face for the deed where you stand wrong, you have no right to bark back at them and have to accept your folly rather than banning every person that nitpicks your shortcomes. However if you still do this, there's a word specifically made for people like you - douchebag! 
  • Just that you administer a forum, doesn't makes you unique and snazzier considering there are thousands and literally ten thousands of different forums present across the internet and their content being another thousand times better than yours. 
  • Just because you sit at your saggy asses at home or go to offices (ultimately performing almost zilch amount of work, cause you also have to administer your forum thus beating the shit out of the overall productivity and making your organization cripple!) doesn't gives you any morale right to be respected because people think you're a good time manager.People will only respect you when you're or your team is nice to them or when they know you through your forum, otherwise why will they even pay flying rats to who you are and what you do, they hardly know you?
  • Just because you love a brand and can go gaga all over it over the internet, your favourite brand isn't going to pay you shit for your  quality ass-licking, its of no use fighting a brand war with someone who is as rare as a medallion holder in Indian government's cabinet! Infact at your own forum, you have to be selfless and honest without being a god damn fanboy (even if you love a brand more, you are supposed not to show your feelings and affinity towards it - Imagine a politician telling masses that he likes China instead of India..!) and getting irked everytime someone differs from your opinion and consequently adding the excuses onto the list, "why I should ban him". 
  • Just because you've continued running a website since long, doesn't necessarily guarantees a career in forum administration thorugh which your children or your generations can be fed well. Imagine your children telling their friends, my father sits at home and does nothing still our school fees gets deposited well on time! Find a respected job somewhere and assign the administering task to moderators, no need to sit at home on the premise of 'forum needs me'. In the virtual world, no one needs you they can very well do without you! 
  • Just because you happen to be the administrator of a forum which is of elephantine proportions, don't expect each of your threads, comments to garner 'oh-so-awesome' responses. I have seen many narrow minded administrators who have banned members just because they didn't like his 'photography attempts which were as flat as witche's tits and pretentious to say the least' and said it on his face. 
  • Because you are an adminstrator and have assigned few mods who are free like a bumble bee without any tab on their wordings and language they use on the pretext of "you can't match my sheer awesomeness", tell them to be in limits or else drop the hammer on them. Being mods doesn't necessarily gives the right to get the prejudice favoured of someone just because a mod is backing him. 

These tips might come in handy for a forum administrator who has just realized that he can spent 2% more as told by adwords representatives, "Shit fella your earning just went up by 2%!!" or if this post irks few of the adminstrators reading it, I invite them with their ideas written on a paper because it would be easier for me to tell them where to stick their valuable insights!  

PS: Where is your sense of humour? 

PPS: Why am I even writing this?